Five Minutes to Live!

by wjw on March 17, 2006

Whoah. Check out Five Minutes to Live, a collection of lost cinema classics. In their catalog we find:

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN
Set in Hell (seriously) we find Bruce Lee going through an Egyptian like afterlife experience. Along his treacherous journey Bruce Lee has a major erection, befriends Popeye, and fights James Bond, Zatoichi, Emmanuel, an army of mummies, Dracula and his team of skeleton zombie assassins and “Clint Eastwood” in the character of the Man with no Name! Hong Kong 1976


THE CASTLE OF THE MUMMIES OF GUANOJUATO

Masked Mexican wrestling greats Superzan, Blue Angel & Tinieblas battle the evil Dr. Dallier and his menacing army of murderous dwarfs and killer mummies!

HINDU SUPERMAN
Will Superman/Shekhar be able to put a stop to Verma’s evil plan? Will he win Gita’s heart? Will he keep his double identity a secret? Will he be able to overcome the extreme budget limitations and fly?

PLANET WARS
Made in less than a month, this Star Wars rip off was released in Brazil a full 5 months before the original Star Wars hit Brazilian theaters, causing it to be a South American smash hit! Starring the Brazilian 3 Stooges, The Tramps; the film features just about every Star Wars character you can think of; as well as some of the most embarrassingly bad sets, special effects and disco dance numbers you will ever find in a movie. . Brazil, 1978

SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN
To show Xuxa that he means business, Satan kidnaps Xuxa’s pet puppet dog Xuxo and holds him hostage in hell! How will Xuxa ever save her dear Xuxo and continue spray painting Brazil with her fashion challenged army of break dancing children? Will the talking worm spurt magic liquid on her finger? Brazil 1988

TURKISH WIZARD OF OZ
Mind melting Turkish version of the classic film, The Wizard of Oz. See the scarecrow get ripped to bits so the others may hide in his hay. One of our favorites. Turkey, 1979

Mike Schilling March 27, 2006 at 7:10 pm

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN sure sounds like a Philip Jose Farmer book, doesn’t it?

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