Death By Stuffing

by wjw on November 27, 2008

“Well,” I can hear you saying, “we may eat too much turkey over the holiday weekend, but at least turkey is low in calories and cholesterol!”

Pah! Not if you have Thanksgiving at our house! Not if you are served Uncle Walter’s Bacon and Sausage Stuffing!*

Start by cutting up a POUND OF BACON into strips. Cook the bacon in the bottom of a large stock pot until it renders up its fat. Then throw a POUND OF SAUSAGE MEAT into the pot, and cook it until it renders up its fat.

Then throw in THREE CHOPPED ONIONS and HALF A DOZEN CHOPPED GARLIC CLOVES. Cook until the vegetables grow all wilty.

Add ONE WHOLE STICK OF BUTTER.

When the butter melts, add A POUND OR SO OF BREAD CRUMBS, HALF A DOZEN CHOPPED, HARD-BOILED EGGS, ONE CUP CHOPPED PARSLEY, TWO TEASPOONS RUBBED SAGE, SALT & PEPPER, and the CHOPPED GIBLETS, assuming you’re not doing anything else with them.

Cook until the bread crumbs no longer crunch when you bite them.

(And, come to think of it, when you have this, why do you need a turkey exactly?)

This may send you into the hospital for your second bypass, but you’ll be smiling as you go.


*Which, it must be admitted, is mostly Craig Claiborne’s sausage stuffing recipe, with some minor changes.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous November 27, 2008 at 11:58 am

2 batches of cornbread (NO sugar!), crumbled into 1/2-inch chunks
0.5 lb savory sausage
0.5 lb spicy sausage
1 lb pecans, chopped coarsely
1 c butter
4 large spears celery, diced
3 onions, minced
large bunch fresh parsley
savory herbs
2 c chicken stock

1. Brown sausage.
2. Sauté veggies in butter. Herb and pepper to taste.
3. Toast pecans.
4. Toss cooked ingredients and pecans with cornbread.
5. Drizzle with chicken stock.
6. Bake in shallow pan or stuff into deep bird.

Ann Aguirre November 27, 2008 at 7:25 pm

That sounds lovely! Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Ian McDowell November 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm

Good Chtulhu, that’s the most awesome stuffing recipe I’ve ever read! Must try it next year. This year I had Turducken stuffed with cajun sausage and wrapped with bacon, courtesy of a friend who works at the Fresh Market and gets a 60% discount there (their turduckens cost close to $100).

dubjay November 29, 2008 at 12:57 am

Thank you, anon! I've been looking for a good cornbread stuffing recipe ever since I stopped by the depot in Osier, CO, for turkey and all the trimmings. (This when we were riding the Cumbres & Toltec scenic railway, recommended to all of you.)

Anonymous November 29, 2008 at 2:06 am

Walter —

You’re welcome.

The Anon. Stuffer
(a.k.a. an absent-minded
Mark Wise
vandegraaf@earthlink.net)

Rebecca S. November 29, 2008 at 4:27 am

Wow. Both recipes sound delicious. And perhaps deadly, but worth it. I evernoted both; I’m having a big T’giving at my house next year and kind of like the idea of dueling dressings.

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