So I’ve been living and breathing astronomy for four whole days now, and it’s producing conversations like this:
ME: I’ve been observing the Wal-Mart parking lot, and I’ve noted twelve Class O supergiant vehicles, fifteen Class B giant vehicles, eight Class G vehicles, and nine Class M dwarf vehicles.
CARRIE: What conclusion do you derive from your observations?
ME: Big pickup trucks and Wal-Mart have a powerful mutual attraction.
And how much alcohol was involved?
True conversation I had with a cosmologist at one point in time.
Me: Astronomers like to take pictures of stars. Am I right?
Cosmologist: Yes.
Me: Stars are very far away.
Cosmologist: That is correct.
Me: What kind of flash do they use?
Cosmologist: ……
Another true conversation.
Me: some random snarky comment that I do not remember.
Random drunk redneck: You some kind of smart alec or something?
Me: genius alec.
Random drunk redneck: Excuse me, what did you say?
Me: I said genius alec. One of the highest IQ's in recorded history.
Random drunk redneck: ????????
It is a testament to my super human reflexes and my martial arts instructors patents that I continue to live.
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