This Just Made My Day . . .

by wjw on November 11, 2010

Ah, don’t you just love the winds of change blowing in Washington?

For instance, noted Illinois shithead congressman John Shimkus— who last made headlines by walking out of one of the Commander-in-Chief’s speeches to a joint session of Congress— now tells us that we don’t have to worry about global warming, because God made a promise to Noah that he wouldn’t destroy the world.

Rep. Shimkus, it should be remarked, is running for chairman of the House Energy Committee.  So if he wins, I guess we can expect Biblical justifications for more billions in subsidies to the oil companies.

Not only is Shimkus a useless, witless, dunderhead cretin attempting to cram brainless superstition into a scientific debate, he clearly doesn’t know how to read and understand his own Bible.  Because all God promises (you moron) is that he won’t destroy the world by water.  And nowhere does it say he won’t let people destroy the world.  And not only that, nobody’s claiming that climate change will destroy the world.  It’ll just make it really uncomfortable for people to live here.

And then there’s the whole Armageddon thing, which the congressman seems to have forgotten about.

Now I have stated elsewhere that it’s a damned shame that it’s no longer possible to call stupid people stupid and crazy people crazy, and that if we just LAUGHED UPROARIOUSLY and MADE SAVAGE FUN OF THEM every goddam time one of these loons and/or nitwits opened their pathetic mouths in public, the world would be a better place.

So here’s my suggestion.  Let’s all do the dozens on John Shimkus, and let the world know just how stupid the man really is.

I’ll start, shall I?

John Shimkus so dumb, he sold the car for gas money.

If stupid was a rock, John Shimkus would be Stone Mountain.

John Shimkus so dumb, he thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project.

John Shimkus so dumb, he failed a survey.

John Shimkus so dumb, he took two hours to watch Sixty Minutes.

John Shimkus so stupid, he sits on the TV and watches the couch.

Oh, snap!

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Dave Bishop November 11, 2010 at 9:33 am

If this Shimkus character is dumb, what does that say about the people who voted for him?

george November 11, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Shimkus is so dumb, he would lose an argument with a bag of nails

Shash November 12, 2010 at 3:17 am

John Shimkus is so dumb, he tried to wake a sleeping bag.

John Shimkus is so dumb, he failed the I.Q. test.

When God was passing out sense, Shimkus thought he said “tents” so he didn’t take any.

Ralf The Dog November 12, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Anyone ever watch the movie Idiocracy?

John Shimkus is so dumb he thinks it is a how to guide for running the country. The sad thing? He is far smarter than James Imhoff.

PCP November 13, 2010 at 3:01 am

John Shimkus so dumb, he hired migrant workers for Farmville.

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