Grumbling

by wjw on May 15, 2018

So my innards are grumbling, and I expect the next few hours won’t be any fun at all.

I’m doing my prep for tomorrow’s colonoscopy.  You have my permission not to envy me.

I’m mentioning this not to elicit sympathy— because there is none on the Internet— but to remind those of you of a certain age that this is one of those things that has to be done regularly, a fact driven home to me twenty years ago, when Roger Zelazny died of cancer because he delayed this annoying but very necessary procedure.  If he’d got his checkup, we might have had twenty more years of genius writing to enjoy.

So do yourself a favor, and when your time comes around, give your friendly neighborhood gastroenterologist a call.

I’m already planning to give myself a reward, and here it is.

IMG_2786

That’s twelve pounds of brisket in what, if I were more pretentious, I would call my “immersion circulator,” but which is really just a big stock pot with an Anova sous vide stick in it.

The brisket will be cooked for three days at 155 degrees F, after which all collagen will have melted and the meat will be as tender as a ripe peach.  The meat will be finished on a grille or in an oven to give it a perfect crust, and then I’ll serve it up.

Not that I’ll be eating all twelve pounds myself.  I’ll have plenty of friends to help out.

Friends that I plan to have a round for a long time, in part because I’m doing what the doc says, and getting myself checked out.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Robert M Roman May 16, 2018 at 10:36 am

Yeah, well… “Talk is cheap. Whiskey costs money.”

Etaoin Shrdlu May 16, 2018 at 12:39 pm

I prefer my meat without added wood pulp, but obviously that is a matter of taste. De gustibus non disputandum est, as the ancient Italians pompously declaimed.

wjw May 16, 2018 at 9:34 pm

Uh, I did say “cellulose,” didn’t I? I meant of course collagen.

It’s one of those mistakes I make more often as I get older. I mean to write one word, and instead I write a completely random word usually beginning with the same letter, and then when I come back to the passage I have to stop and think, “What did I -really- mean?”

wjw May 16, 2018 at 9:34 pm

RMR– What I said about sympathy on the internet. Right?

wjw May 16, 2018 at 9:35 pm

So the scan turned up three polyps, so I’m glad I went.

The doc cleared me for living another three years, so yay.

Etaoin Shrdlu May 17, 2018 at 6:30 am

That’s ok, it’s a new word, you just made it umbrella.

Holy crap. I’m glad you went too. Fry them buggers out.

I’m lucky, I’ll never have to worry about cancer, because my life expectancy is so low that, uh, well, never mind. Anyway, get back to writing Q2, will ya?

Jim Janney May 21, 2018 at 11:08 pm

If the prep also cleared out your intestinal flora, adding some raw (live culture) sauerkraut to that could help to get things back to their normal state.

Andrew May 22, 2018 at 2:57 pm

I have to back checking your Colon, at 45 I had a Colonoscopy after being diagnosed with haemorrhoids found a suspicious polyp biopsy of it and a year later I have just finished recovering from the surgery and am clear. Without the colonoscopy Symptoms would not have shown up for another year or so and could well have been beyond treatment, you are never too young to worry about Colon Cancer or other cancers if in doubt check and early diagnosis will save your life.

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