I’m not exactly good at walking nowadays, but I thought I’d manage well enough at riding around on the John Deere, so I headed to the tractor the other day with the intention of trimming the grass on our rancho and shortening the weeds. One of the tires had gone flat, but I knew it had a slow leak, so I’d prepared by acquiring a can of Fix-a-Flat. I duly screwed the can to the tire valve and watched the tire inflate.

This was the last time in the entire day that a piece of apparatus worked as designed.

After filling the tire, I tried to remove the can from the wheel, but it wouldn’t come off the valve. So then I spent maybe half an hour tugging on the thing, and trying to unscrew it, and applying various tools in hopes of expediting the can’s removal. It was over 90 degrees by that point and I probably sweated away 5-10 pounds.

Finally I said to myself, “Well, what harm would it actually do if I just drove the Deere around with the can still attached?” Other than confirm my neighbors’ opinions of my eccentricity, that is.

I was just about to put this plan into action when I thought that maybe a pair of needle-nose pliers might be able to work in between the tire valve and the can, and so I tried that, and the can actually unscrewed!

I have learned to be thankful for small solutions.

I began to trim the grass, which went well until I came near the well head, and the tires went into a pothole. I motored on, wondering where the pothole had come from, and on the next circuit I looked into the pothole and saw it was full of water, which told me all I needed to know.

What was happening was a replay of something that happened last year, which is that one of the pipes leading away from the well head had broken below the surface somewhere, and the water spewing out of it was digging a sinkhole, and the roof of the sinkhole had partly fallen in, creating the pothole.

Last year the pothole had nearly swallowed a couple of plumbers, so I really wanted to deal with this situation as soon as possible. So I clumb down off the Deere and phoned the plumbers. As it happened, I already had an appointment scheduled dive days out, to explore the reasons behind a drop in water pressure. I told them there was no exploration needed, the mystery was solved, but that I really needed a crew here. The receptionist checked with the boss, and the boss said no way, it’s five days out or nuthin’. So I called another plumber, and he said he’d check with his crews and get back to me, but of course he never did.

So I got back on the John Deere and finished the yard work, and along the way noticed a damp patch in the back, near the septic. This reminded me of something else that happened last year, in which a rogue water purifier was shooting drinking water into the waste system, resulting in the septic tank overfilling and backing up into the house, a malodorous situation eventually resolved by the Wise Old Septimancer.

I don’t know what the hell is now overpressurizing the waste water system, but I knew what to do, which was to go to the breakers and shut off the well pump.

So now we are without water, except that I turn on the well pump for a brief time every morning so we can flush the toilets, refill water jugs, and take showers. The broken pipe near the well head has got worse and is now creating a swift-flowing lake across the property, but at least it dries up when I turn off the well pump again.

So now we live like our pioneer ancestors, except with more gear to break down.

At least the damp spot near the septic is drying up.