September 15, 2007
Annihilation! Cool Flying Dudes! And other stories from the world of science . . .
Greg Frost has been keeping me up to date this week on the world o’ science, and it’s clear that science is becoming more skiffy than ever.
First up— annihilation! A team including David Cassidy— who will be played in the movie by David Cassidy— has succeeded in merging di-positronium with ordinary positrons in order to produce a powerful ray called the gamma-ray annihilation laser! “The difference in the power available from a gamma-ray laser compared to a normal laser is the same as the difference between a nuclear explosion and a chemical explosion,” sez Cassidy. These annihilation lasers!— in addition to blowing up our enemies better than our enemies have ever been blowed up before— might also be used to kick-start fusion reactors.
And face it— doesn’t “di-positronium” sound like something out of a bad science fiction film?
Plus, extra points for actually calling it an “annihilation laser.”
Next, researchers at the University of Cardiff— where, according to Dr. Who, a giant rift in spacetime is permanently moored— are using the enormous Diamond synchrotron, which generates a light source ten billion times brighter than the sun, to read delicate or damaged ancient manuscripts without having to open them.
This is cool. I really need them to use this really soon on all those manuscripts from Herculaneum. Never mind that they probably have all sorts of other things planned for this colossal synchrotron— I want Sulla’s autobiography now!
Lastly and most coolly, those ingenius Brits aren’t sitting on their Diamond synchrotron laurels, no! They’ve invented the Gryphon one-man strap-on stealth jet plane, tailor-made for getting special forces into all sorts of brand-new trouble!
Can I just say that I’ve been waiting for this for decades! I absolutely want one, I want it now, and I promise not to invade any foreign countries without permission.
Plus, when the country with the gamma-ray annihilation laser is invaded by the country with the strap-on jet planes, you could have the coolest game of Space Invaders ever!
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