Dark Horse, Mad Dog, Warrior Monk

You’ve probably heard of dark horse candidates, right?  Now, if certain deep-pocketed conservatives have their way, we may have a candidate that’s a mad dog.

That would be James “Mad Dog” Mattis, USMC, retired.  Former lieutenant general, former NATO Supreme Commander (Transformation), and David Petraeus’ successor as Central Command’s big honcho, with responsibility for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Mattis’ campaign is being floated by the Usual Group of Shadowy Billionaires, whose front man is former Jeb Bush aide John Noonan.  The Shadowy Set is deeply worried that Donald Trump, described by Noonan as “a reality TV show lunatic,” might become the Republican nominee, get elected, and send American foreign policy to Wackoville.

So their plan is to have Mattis announce a third-party candidacy after the Republican convention and somehow get enough electoral votes so that neither the Democrat nor the Republican wins.  This would throw the election into the House of Representatives, which is controlled by Republicans, most of whom (it is hoped) would prefer Mattis to Trump.

The problems are numerous.  Firstly, the House hasn’t decided an election in 190 years, and (given that its collective level of maturity is probably well below that of the average kindergarten) probably isn’t up to the job.

Another problem is that Mattis doesn’t want the job, and has never run for office, anywhere, and has never won (or even lost) an election.  The Shadowy Billionaires have till the convention to try to talk him into running.

And lastly, I’m guessing the Shadowy Billionaires want someone compliant, like Jeb! or Mitt Romney.  Someone from the moneyed end of the spectrum, who will let them continue to quietly continue to buy up the world, or at least the North American part of it.

Yet somehow they think that someone named Mad Dog will let them run things.  (Mattis’ other nickname is “Warrior Monk,” by the way, reflecting both his unmarried lifestyle and his intellectual interests.)  After all, this is the guy who told his troops, “be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”

It would make for an interesting debate, that’s for sure.