Planet Clyde

The Battle of Pluto is over. But not the war, one hopes. The new decision is lame, the sort that can only be reached by a committee.

The IAU has declared that Pluto is now something called a “dwarf planet,” along with Ceres and Xena. Charon remains a satellite. I can’t seem to find out where Sedna and Quaoar fit into the new definition, but it may be that we need only find only two more Kuiper Belt Objects to give the solar system a full compliment of Seven Dwarfs.

The term “Plutonian” was rejected in favor of “dwarf planet,” a major mistake in my view. “Plutonian” is a way cooler term.

Cooler still would be Kathy’s idea of calling them “Tombaugh Objects.” Clyde deserves it. Let’s start singing this meme at once.

It should be pointed out that I’m completely in favor of a more colorful solar system. If I could, I’d restore Uranus’ original name, which was George. (You can look it up.)

Another issue is what new mnemonic to teach children in order to learn the names of the planets.

Charlie Pierce, on NPR’s news quiz “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” suggested “Many Virgins Enter My Jacuzzi Swooning Uncontrollably Nightly.”

Amy Dickenson’s suggestion was “Most Very Eligible Men Just Sleep, Until Now.”

Whereas Adam Felber offered, “My Volkswagon Emits Mick Jagger Songs Until Noon.”

If you have any suggestions of your own, please feel free to post them here.