Say This Tongue-Twister, Or Else!

From our friends in Japan, here’s another variation on their venerable tradition of sadistic game shows.

Unlike the US, where people need a shot at a million dollars in order to humiliate themselves this painfully, these hardy contestants are probably competing for a wall plaque, a bag of candy, or a selection of beads and trinkets.

I first saw this sort of thing in a hotel in a large American city, where they had a couple Japanese satellite channels. The most memorable example was a variation on a log flume ride. Except that the log wasn’t hollow, you couldn’t sit in it, you just had to grab it and hang on. And the log was studded with nails. And there was no flume, just a snow-covered mountainside. And the contestants were wearing only those diaper-things.

So the contest consisted of nearly-naked people trying to hang onto a nail-studded log as it bounced, pitched, and rolled down a mountain. The winner was the guy who hung on the longest. And this was only one of a lengthy series of contests, each as challenging and evil as the first.

It reminds me of the time I first heard of the ancient Japanese erotic art of pillowfighting, where you shout “Shizuree!” (or something like that) as you whomp your partner in the crotch with your pillow.

I thought this was charming and fun, until I realized that in Japan the pillows are made of wood.

Ouch.