That Darn Postillion

Years ago, I heard of a phrase book used by travelers to the Russian Empire which included the useful phrase, “Alas!  Our postillion has been struck by lightning!”

What I didn’t realize until today was that the unfortunate lightning-struck postillion had become a kind of folk meme transmitted down nearly a century, and thus become a suitable subject for an article in Wikipedia.

The earliest use of the term dates to a 1916 article in Punch, where the phrasebook is described as Hungarian.  The next use is 1932, in a travel book by “Septimus Despencer,” adds, “This is the sort of thing that only happens in Hungary; and, when it happens, this is the sort of remark that only Hungarians make.”

It is still unclear whether the phrase book actually existed or whether it contained any such phrase, but I can personally attest to some pretty odd bits of translation found here and there.

I saw a very recent English-Mongolian phrase book that contained the following sentences:

“Please call off your dogs.”

“May I see your yurt?”

“I would like to drink kumiss now.”

(I was picturing an American tourist using these three sentences in succession.)

Other useful phrases travelers should memorize at once:

Warum nicht in die Luft gehen?  “Why not just blow up?”

Vasanesoume.  Greek for “I am being tortured.”

Se taper le cul par terre.  French, “Bang your butt on the ground.”

Qi qiao sheng yan. Chinese, “Smoke from seven orifices.”

Heittaa vesilintua.   Finnish.  “Go throw it at a water fowl.”

Poronkusema.  Finnish again.  The distance reindeer can travel before needing a comfort break,

Du Kannst Mir Gern Den Buckel Runterrutschen Und Mit Der Zunge Bremse.  Austrian.  “You can slide down my hunchback using your tongue as a brake.”

Bayram Degil  seyran degil eniste beni niye optu?  Turkish.  “It’s not a festival and it’s not an outing, so why did my brother-in-law kiss me?”

Mi nalgas son llenado con arroz.  Spanish.  “My ass cheeks are filled with rice.”

Sentios aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.  Latin.  “A bunch of old men in togas are conspiring against me.”

Avoir le cafard.  French for “Have a cockroach.”  (I’ll have the Bordeaux instead, thank you.)

I’d go on at greater length, but I’ve got to go clean out my hovercraft.  For some reason, it’s full of eels.