To the Moon

NASA is recruiting the next generation of astronauts, to service the ISS and establish and staff our future moon base. Y’all have till July 1 to apply.

1. The salary range is $59,493.00 to $130,257.00 per year
2. “The open positions require extensive travel on Earth and in space. Possible destinations may include, but are not limited to, Texas, Florida, California, Russia, Kazakhstan, the International Space Station and the moon.”
3. All positions require mandatory drug tests
4. Women, minorities, and teachers are specifically encouraged to apply
5. The positions are only open to U.S. citizens
6. Applicants must be between 62 and 75 inches tall to fit in Soyuz space capsules
7. Minimum requirements are a bachelor’s degree in specific math and science fields, as well as 3 years of experience in the workplace
8. New NASA employees receive 13 days of paid vacation per year, plus 10 federal holidays
9. Most NASA facilities have free parking

You want that free parking, don’tcha? Get cracking and apply!