Watermelon Man

Lest me just rant here for a while. About seedless watermelons, and why I hate them.

1. They’re not seedless! The seeds are puny, but they’re there. So even calling them seedless is a misrepresentation. They should be “weeny-seeded watermelons.”
2. They don’t taste good! They don’t taste awful, but they don’t have the full rich flavor of a real watermelon. Which begs a whole other rant about why people buy food that doesn’t taste good, but maybe I’ll develop that thought later.
3. They don’t hold up! A seedless watermelon will deteriorate in an alarming way just a few days after you buy it. And not only does it decay, it breaks down into some kind of horrible, disgusting slime. This happens even if you refrigerate it. If I want food with ichor on it, I’d eat raw goldfish, thank you very much.
4. They’ve driven real watermelons out of the marketplace! I can’t seem to find an old-fashioned, tastes-good, seeded watermelon anywhere. Maybe if I get lucky at the farmer’s market, but nowhere else.

So here’s what’s happened: for the convenience of not having to spit out watermelon seeds, people have settled for a product that doesn’t taste good and that breaks down into a slimy puddle right there on the refrigerator shelf.

Can someone explain why people do this? Or are they just Fucking Stupid?