Nine Votes

by wjw on August 14, 2009

The stats released from the Hugo voting at Worldcon have shown that Implied Spaces came just nine votes short of getting a Hugo nomination. Of course that also means that Implied Spaces came but nine votes short of being turned into an asphalt angel by Neil Gaiman’s Invincible Award-Winning Steamroller— but then if that happened, I’d find myself in pretty good company.

I would like to offer sincere thanks for any of you who voted for Implied Spaces. And if you didn’t, there’s a copy of This Is Not a Game I’d like to sell you.

It was George RR Martin who told me about falling short in the Hugo voting, and he immediately suggested a remedy that would get me on next year’s Hugo ballot.

“You’ve got to go out and seduce nine women,” he said. “Preferably Australian, preferably members of the 2010 Aussie Worldcon.”

“Of course,” said Gardner Dozois, who was kibitzing. “Strictly speaking, it doesn’t have to be women.”

“Yes,” I said firmly, “it does.”

Leaving aside the moral and family questions of which Kathy will doubtless remind me some time in the next 24 hours, George’s plan seems problematic. Since female Australian fans presumably talk to each other, and since some might object to my pursuit of others while I pursue them, they might get angry and vote against me. Which means that I have to acquire a safety margin, and seduce more than nine women. Say, 20. And do it all before next March or so, when the ballots are distributed.

That would mean I’d be pretty busy for the next six months, and my expenses would include tickets to Australia as well as lodging.

I think George’s plan is getting overcomplicated. Maybe I should try something simpler.

Ballot-box stuffing? It has a stirring history, even in fandom.

Getting the Hugo committee drunk and tampering with the results while they’re not looking? Considering that they’re Aussies, the cost in booze would probably equal the cost of flying Down Under and seducing 20 women.

Campaigning for the Hugo?

No, I couldn’t do that. Campaigning is unethical, whereas outright cheating is just fun.

qtera August 14, 2009 at 10:49 pm

Maybe you could get "Swedish Sea-Vikings" to seduce/coerce voters for you. I know many who would respond well to "tall blonds with shields and chainmail suits".

Ken Houghton August 15, 2009 at 12:20 am

It would be caddish of me to suggest you have Jack Dann and Justine Larbalestier give you tips in this effort, I suspect.

Wouldn't it just be easier to make certain the pb of TINAG were out in time for Hugo voters next year?

Crotchety Old Fan August 15, 2009 at 1:55 am


I'm working right now on a 'Rock the Hugo Vote in 2010' campaign.

The number of participants (voters) is far too low for such a prestigious (and historically important award).

John Scalzi has already done excellent work in raising awareness and participation (voters packet) – as have Kevin Standlee, Cheryl Morgan and no doubt others.

I'm encouraging others to sign up at least for a supporting membership, suggesting that now is the most opportune time to 'ballot stuff' (tongue in cheek) and am working on obtaining some incentives and premiums to help things along.

(I already have several artists – Hugo winners among them – who are preparing artwork for this campaign and have also begun approaching several publishers & etc.)

Th seduction part does not have to be done by you – just send contact info along to me and I'll pass it along to those who sign up to vote!

Oz August 15, 2009 at 2:18 am

While tres amusant, I'm not so sure about this seduction idea. Please reassure Kathy that you have never seduced me nor am I the stuff seductions are made of. I'd be more likely to trample a man into teeny tiny emasculated pieces if he tried some form of seduction. I mention this because I used all 3 of the nomination forms at my disposal to list Implied Spaces. So I did my bit. It was someone else who fell short in the nominations category, not I.

Oz August 15, 2009 at 2:30 am

Oh. And as a postscript it occurs to me to inform you that you might wish to send me a copy of TINAG, gratis. As a member of Anticipation, I have a vote in 2010, even if I'm not in Australia. Which means I now have FOUR nominating ballots at my disposal. Hmmm, maybe you should have picked up the tab on Thursday, or at least tried. OTOH, I might have seen that as an attempt at seduction and trampled accordingly.

Anonymous August 15, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Walter has already thought of my objection. If he seduced nine or more women, and they found out about the eight or more OTHER women, they would be more likely to vote AGAINST him rather than for.

OTHO, Gardiner Dozois has something like 19 Hugos. Has he given away the secret of how they were obtained?


Peter S. August 17, 2009 at 5:00 pm

How about trying hard work: simply write a better book than Implied Spaces. But wait … you've already done that!

Good luck next year.

dubjay August 17, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Writing a better book is so 19th Century . . . so much easier to network!

I think Pat has the best idea— hire the Swedish Sea Vikings to do the dirty work for me! Seduce fans, stuff ballot boxes, maybe make sure that some cases of my competitors' books "disappear."

Anyone have their email?

Oz, why don't I buy you lunch =next= time.

Oz August 18, 2009 at 1:23 am

Oh, NOW you offer to buy me lunch! Pretty safe offer when you're across the country by a couple of time zones.


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