Kenpo Fable
by wjw on April 6, 2012
The Kenpo Master was about to begin class with his senior students when he was approached by a stranger who said he was a Tai Chi Master.
“I would like to do push-hands with you,” said the Tai Chi Master.
“I’m about to begin class,” said the Kenpo Master.
“I am a Tai Chi Master,” said the Tai Chi Master, “and I would like to do push-hands.”
“An august personage such as a Tai Chi Master is always welcome to my school,” said the Kenpo Master. “By all means come into the training area, and let us do push-hands.”
The Kenpo Master and the Tai Chi Master began to do push-hands, and the Kenpo Master picked up the Tai Chi Master and dashed him upon the ground with great force.
“I apologize,” said the Kenpo Master. “I am inexperienced at push-hands, and no doubt I performed incorrectly. Let us play push-hands again.”
The Tai Chi Master and the Kenpo Master began once more to do push-hands, and once again the Kenpo Master picked up the Tai Chi Master and flung him headlong onto the ground.
“I apologize again,” said the Kenpo Master. “My understanding of push-hands is deficient. Perhaps you should come back another time, after I’ve had a chance to practice.”
The Tai Chi Master staggered off into the night and was never seen again. The Kenpo Master returned to teaching his class.
My understanding of morals is deficient, and if there is a moral to this story, it eludes me.
In any case this story is only a fable, and of course never really happened.
You need to find some of the old films of Cheng Man Ch’ing doing push hands. I don’t think the story would go quite the way you think.
I doubt that Cheng Man Ching would have barged into someone else’s class and insisted it all be about =him.=
I suppose I should also add the disclaimer that I’m not attacking Tai Chi, I’m just describing some behavior by someone claiming to be a Tai Chi Master.
Who is, in any case, imaginary.
The moral is simple:
Don’t mess with a martial artist!
“Excuse me, I’d like to show off.”
“Sorry, I’m busy.”
“Exscuse me, don’t you know who I am?”
“Yeah, you’re Mister Not Good Enough.” (wham wham wham)
MASTER: “Observe closely, class. ‘Boot-to-the-Head.’ (THOOMP!)”
EG (drunkenly): “Ow! You booted me in the head!”
MASTER: “You are lucky, edgruberman. Few novices experience so much of
Tae Kwon Leap so soon.”
“Tae Kwon Leep”, The Frantics
Moral #1: Be careful what you ask for. A challenge, no matter how politely couched, is still a challenge.
Moral #2: Never assume the other guy is playing by your rules.
Just out of curiosity, is that bit of micro fiction something you wrote, or is it some old story, proving me to be an uneducated savage for not having known of it? It reminds me of a story my first instructor told me, many decades ago, long before you were born.
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