Veyshnoria, My Veyshnoria

The other day Belarus and their Russian allies declared war on three fictional countries.  But now one of the countries seems a little less fictional.

As part of a joint military exercise taking place later this month, Belarus and Russia are mobilizing against three enemies: Vesbaria and Lubenia (strangely resembling Lithuania and Poland), along with Veyshnoria, which is located in northwestern Belarus, a part of the country that tends to vote against Belarus’ president-for-life, Alexander Lukashenko.

Rather than feel more secure in the face of looming Lithuanian aggression, Belarusians seem to be eager to flee their tyrannical kleptocratic fleapit, and take refuge amid the warm, hospitable citizens of Veyshnoria, who promise “stew, honey, bread and lard” to defectors.

Denizens of the Web flocked to the aid of beleaguered Veyshnoria.  Soon the Veyshnorian foreign ministry had a Facebook and Twitter account, and the country had a flag, a coat of arms, and a page where people could apply for citizenship and receive a passport.  Belorusians flocked to this last, desperate to escape even to an imaginary country.

Long live Veyshnoria!  Down with Lukashenkoism!  Stand fast in the face of Belorusian aggression!  You have nothing to lose but your lard!

[Exit, singing “All Hail Freedonia.”]