The Crazy Train

by wjw on May 10, 2011

I was sorta hoping that the death of Osama bin Laden might nudge a few people back to sanity, but it isn’t happening.

I mean, I expected the 9/11 Truthers to claim that Osama didn’t do it and isn’t really dead, because they’ve been on the Crazy Train for some time.   But even the usual crazies are still crazy.

Just trolling around online during a Monday.  Here’s what I found.

The ultra-orthodox Jewish Di Tzeilung airbrushed Hillary Clinton and Director of Counterterrorism Audrey Tomason from the Situation Room photo taken during the bin Laden raid.

[Schmarya Rosenberg] said the newspapers in that community have become “increasingly strange with their censorship of women’s faces and women’s bodies” over the past few years.

He said readers of the Yiddish-language paper used to see photos of rabbis with their wives and that there was then a time when the women were blurred. Now, they’re just not there.

But in a written statement issued Monday afternoon by Di Tzeitung, the newspaper said that its decision to leave women out of photos is religiously mandated and that the right to do so is protected by the U.S. Constitution.

Yes.  the U.S. Constitution does permit people to be asshats and bigots, particularly where religion is concerned.

Elsewhere in the news, a whole lot of conservatives don’t want to credit the CIA or the military or the administration with killing Osama, but just prefer to give the credit to torture.   (They are, of course, lying through their fat bloated corpselike faces.)

(But of course, when all you’ve got in y0ur arsenal is waterboarding, every problem seems to need waterboarding.)

But torture is just a big joke to them.  Fox News guys Eric Bolling even took a poll of his readers to see who they wanted waterboarded next, and discovered that conservatives would rather torture Democrats than, say, Muslim terrorists.

Wow.  Is calling them “a bunch of raving shitheads” an understatement, or what?

I rather enjoyed Bolling’s colleague calling him a coward for not volunteering to be waterboarded himself.   They all talked over her, but then that’s because cowards stick together.

In honor of Thor‘s release this week, a couple items from comics news.  First, the revelation that “the sin-marinated pages of each comic will lead your child straight to the BBQ pits of Satan.

There is nothing so funny about how studies show comics cause over 20% young boys who read them to turn to, drugs, male gay prostitution and then death . . .

. . . If that’s not bad enough, Marvel shows that Spider-man also supports Barack Obama, meaning this character is trying to make your kids think killing babies is ok and it’s nice to give money to American-hating terrorists

Gosh.  I spent a lot of my childhood reading comics.  I’m lucky I escaped!

(When I first encountered this, I thought that the outrageous arguments might indicate a parody site.  But the problem is that you just can’t tell anymore! That’s a feature both of the Internet and the 21st Century— you can’t tell the passengers on the Crazy Train from the people who are just pretending to be on the Crazy Train.)

And apropos Thor, the movie’s getting slammed from all sides.  Last year, a bunch of creepy Christian racists got all bent out of shape because a black actor was cast as a Norse god.

This year, it’s the actual Thor-worshipers of the Norse Neo-Pagan community who are annoyed at the film’s inaccurate depiction of their deities.

Take, for example, this thoughtful meditation on encountering a toy Thor hammer in a Wal-Mart at 4am.

I held that foam hammer in my hand for a long time, which I’m sure only confirmed my weirdness to the nightgaunts of the third shift. With my other hand, I rubbed the Mjolnir necklace I have worn every day since my initiation into my family’s coven. I did not know what to think of it.

The truth is, I looked at the toys in my hands and I saw the result of millions of dollars of development and thousands of hours of manpower, put into something bearing the name of a god, my god, and it had nothing to do with me. Their Thor was a god forgotten by all except the few quiet geeks who read his adventures in Journey into Mystery and The Mighty Thor for forty years. It wasn’t that they meant to upset or unsettle me; they simply realized that people like me were too few to matter.

(In a Wal-Mart.  At 4am.)

Fact is, you don’t have to be an monotheist to be an asshat fundamentalist.  But more importantly, this shows that the pagans have Arrived.  I’ve seen ridiculous film treatments involving every major religion on the planet (most of them intended to be reverent) and if the film industry is getting around to making a ludicrous treatment of the hosts of Asgarth, it just means they think paganism is good for a lot of bucks.

Join the crowd, Neos.  Buy your ticket on the Crazy Train.

Speaker to Managers May 10, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Clearly this night-shift Pagan hasn’t seen the apotheosis of the toy industry’s homage to theology and philosophy: the Jean-Paul Sarte action figure.

wjw May 11, 2011 at 1:58 am

I haven’t seen that either, but I do have my Benedict Spinoza finger puppet!

TCWriter May 11, 2011 at 1:57 pm

I guess you don’t have to be a member of the dominant religious group in the USA to imagine the existence of a shadowy, all-powerful conspiracy (with mucho access to media) bent on depriving you of your religious rights.

Money’s simply too simple an answer.

Now I’m sorry I didn’t ask the wholly obvious “Mr. Comic reader, when did you stop being a male gay prostitute” question in the interview…

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